Monthly Archives: January 2019

How do I know if my child is being bullied? 5 key indicators

There are many signs and symptoms of bullying, but we’ve chosen 5 key signs for you to recognise when your child is being bullied, plus some steps to take in the presence of bullying.

We recognise that the impact that bullying can have not only on the child themselves but also the parents and family. It can be helpful for parents to recognise some signs and not underestimate the lasting effects of schoolyard taunting.

1. Avoiding school

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When a child is verbalising a desire to not go to school or has a noticeable decline in school performance, these are obvious warning signals

2. Injuries or lost property

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If a child is coming home from school with lost or destroyed property and/or unexplained injuries, this could be an immediate

3. Mood and behaviour changes

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Parents should be alert to changes in mood, behaviour and physical appearance of their children. Moodiness, irritability and withdrawal, along with difficulties getting out of bed could be something other than just teen angst.

4. Health changes

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Being aware of changes in eating habits, frequent stomach or headaches and faking illnesses is important as these may indicate anxiety.

5. Social life

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It is also important to take note of how your child is socialising. While kids are known to chop and change groups as they mature, sudden social withdrawal and loss of friends may indicate more than the natural transience of childhood friendships.


So, what can be done?

Acknowledging bullying can seem daunting for both children and parents. Naming the issue might make it seem bigger than you want it to be, or a real problem for which you don’t have a tangible solution or parental wisdom.

    • Stay calm and positive and listen to your child. Do not dismiss their concerns or encourage them to sort it out themselves.
    • You are not alone in this issue; the school doesn’t want your child to feel ostracised or uncomfortable. Find out what supports are in place and how they can assist your child in the school domain.
    • Ensuring that your child has a confidant at school and encouraging them to report incidents and understand that it is OK to do so, can also help inspire security.
    • Parents must explain to their children that bullying is not their fault.
    • Don’t let bullying dominate your child’s life, focus on developing new skills and encourage healthy outlets outside of school where they can form meaningful bonds and develop new skills.
    • Confidence is key, as body language can speak volumes. Work strategies with your children, such as appearing confident even if they feel insecure on the inside. Just practising saying NO firmly can create confidence as well as acting unimpressed or unaffected.

 

Relationships Australia NT offers individual, couple and family counselling, relationship education and skill-building courses including Parenting courses. For more information please call us on (08) 8923 4999.

MAFS is back, but what does it really take to make a relationship work?

It’s a New Year, which many people see as a great time for a fresh start. Resolutions are made and plans put in place for revised habits; go to the gym more often, eat better, read 10 books, have some ‘me’ time or really connect with the kids. It’s also the time of year for new TV series; countdown to Game of Thrones, sitting back watching the tennis and a new season of Married at First Sight (MAFS).

MAFS

The participants of the Married at First Sight 2019 experiment have just been announced. There’s a variety of different characters, including a 29-year-old virgin and a self-proclaimed ‘dater’ of married men. There are also plenty of specific requirements that contestants have listed for their potential wife or husband to possess:
• Jennifer Hawkins’ looks,
• ability to get on with large extended family,
• confidence,
• matching a fashion,
• or skincare regime.

Regardless of what you think of the MAFS experiment, it does raise questions about how relationships should work. So, what does it really take to make a marriage, or committed couple relationship work?

Well, it is less about what each person ‘possess’ and much more about how each person relates and responds to the other. It is less about them having to accept specific aspects of our lives and much more about each person’s overall views and general approach to being in a relationship with someone.

Here are three key approaches to relationships to consider for making your marriage or committed couple relationship work:

1. Fun in the everyday and mundane
A vast amount of our lives and therefore relationships are taken up with needing to carry out repetitive, daily, weekly or monthly tasks, jobs, chores, cleaning, cooking, shopping, fixing, sorting, organising and arranging. There’s little point feeling resentful about these things and a lot more point in relishing getting tasks done either together or for the benefit of your lives together.

 

2. Balance in everything we do
We have all heard of needing to spend more time with our partner as important, but we must also value own interests. This balance is key in relationships, for example:
• Needing to connect with the other person but not being connected all day,
• Doing things as a family but not ‘helicopter parenting’ our kids,
• Having a good work ethic but not being a workaholic.
We need a general view of having balance in all we do (even not overeating kale!) Have a read of On Marriage by world-renowned Lebanese-American poet Karl Gibran below.

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via  www.katsandogz.com

3. Foundational Friendship
Through everyday mundane tasks and balance getting out of whack, the friendship in a couple relationships can slip. Sometimes we don’t consider that our partner can also be someone we share a deep, connected and fun friendship with. Leading relationship specialists Julie and John Gottman, show in their research that the foundation of a sturdy ‘marital house’ ultimately needs to be a friendship; liking and genuinely being interested in the other person, for who they are and what they are about. Find, increase or keep up, ways to make the friendship with your partner a deep, fun and connected one. You can also download the Gottman couple app – a fun way to improve your friendship with helpful questions, statements, and ideas.

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Get off to the best start ever in 2019 by attending one of our three upcoming couple relationship courses. Couple connect and Building Better Relationships offer up to date tips, provide opportunities to practice new skills and a dedicated time and place to get it back on track or fine-tuning your relationship.

Couple Connect – 4-hour workshop, $ 80 per couple

Wednesdays February 6th & 13 6.00-8.00pm

Fridays BYO lunch 1-hour sessions 12-1pm March 8th, 15th, 22nd & 29th

Building Better Relationships – 12-hour workshop, over 6 weeks, $220 per couple

Mondays February 18th – March 25th 6.00-8.00pm

Booking essential – call 8923 4999

Contact us